Just some thoughts on our Poly Social Night:
We invited 30+ people to play a game where we asked 20+ questions like:
- “Polyamory requires more emotional labor than monogamy?”
- “It’s possible to love more than one person equally?”
- “Relationship hierarchy is important to me.”
Everyone chose their answers on a scale from Strongly Disagree to Strongly Agree, then formed small groups to discuss and share their perspectives with each other.
What was the theme and goal of this event?
At KIKI BERLIN, our goal is to create social events where people can genuinely connect. One thing we’ve both experienced in Berlin is that while there are tons of fun events, they’re often not structured in a way that makes it easy to meet new people. We wanted to create an environment where people know what to expect and where they can be sure they’ll walk away with a few new connections.
Berlin is famous for being sex-positive and poly-positive — its openness and, let’s say, “craziness” is part of what draws people here. But there are still a lot of stereotypes about certain group of people. At KIKI BERLIN, we always say our mission is to break taboos and talk about the things that are usually kept behind closed doors. Even though Berlin has this “-positive” reputation, these topics still aren’t fully mainstream, and we want to break those stereotypes and open up deeper conversations.
What inspired you to host this event?
At almost every event we host, we include some kind of social game or activity to help people connect more deeply — and our participants always tell us they love that part. So we thought: why not take it to the next level and create a space that’s only about deep conversations?
And instead of asking the usual small-talk questions like “how long have you been living in Berlin?”, we wanted to ask thought-provoking questions that really make you reflect.
“Do all poly people think the same?” Obviously not — and that’s exactly the point. We wanted to bring people together to share their different perspectives and spark meaningful conversations.
What surprised you most during the event?
I went in knowing I shouldn’t assume how people would answer, but one question still caught me off guard: “Will your future relationship be polyamorous?” I honestly thought most people would say yes — but quite a few chose “disagree.” Some shared that they simply didn’t want to limit themselves. For them, what kind of relationship style they choose now stays a choice for now, but if someday a monogamous partner felt like the “right fit,” they would be open to that too. “I don’t even know what I want to eat next week!” — one person jokingly said.
A moment that left a deep impression:
On my way home, I bumped into one of the participants. I was a bit nervous to talk to him — this was our first time hosting such an event, and of course we had a few hiccups, I was not ready to hear negative feedback lol. But he told me he really loved it, that he appreciated having this opportunity to meet people, and that he actually stayed until around 11 pm continuing conversations with others he met there. That was a really heartwarming moment for me.
What theme would you explore in the future?
We have so many ideas! For example:
- Do queer people think the same?
- Do all parents think the same?
- Do monogamous people think the same?
- Do Berliners think the same?
- Do feminists think the same?
There are endless directions we could explore — the format works with any topic where we want to challenge stereotypes and showcase diversity of thought.
How did this conversation shift your perspective on relationships?
For me, it was a reminder that there isn’t just one “right” way to do relationships — there are countless ways, and every person shapes them differently.
It also made me think about how this goes beyond just relationships — it’s really about how we define connection as human beings. Especially in modern times, when so many of us don’t even know our neighbors, there’s a lot of discussion about loneliness and how difficult it can be to build genuine bonds in a city.
It made me reflect not only on relationships, but also on friendships — and on how we define love and intimacy in general.
One takeaway you’d like others to know from this night:
Even if you think you’ve heard all the questions before, you’ll always discover new perspectives when you listen to other people. Sharing your opinions — and having them gently challenged — is such a fun and eye-opening experience.
orientalsnack 
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